My Story

My brothers, I have been in your shoes before...devastated, worried, anxious, living in fear.

My journey began all the way back when I was 6 years old...I still have a hard time even believing that when I write it now!

I was exposed to pornography by a neighbor of my grandmother. He was only a few years older than me at the time and really had no idea how much of a monster he was creating. From that moment forward, I was highly addicted to pornography.

Searching for outlets to access the state change and stimulation I experienced from looking at porn, I became an addicted seeker. Very quickly, I began a pattern of ejaculating many times a day. Sneaking around in school to look at porn, at home, at friend's houses, wherever I went, my brain and body's physiology became highly addicted to that release.

As I began to have sexual intercourse, my motivational drive was to emulate what I saw in pornography. And of course, everything always lead to the release, the ejaculatory orgasm.

Once I was in college, I hit a wall that changed the course of my life's journey. There was this one woman who I was extremely attracted to and I wanted to pursue romantic relations with her. I ended up sleeping over at her house one night and we didn't engage in any intimate connection until the next morning.

That morning proved to be pivotal because I experienced pre-mature ejaculation like I never had before. I wasn't ready to release. I wanted to keep connecting with her. And then the other thoughts started to roll in. I needed to perform better. How could I ejaculate before we even had sex? 

To say the least, I was crushed, devastated and so sad. For weeks, I laid in bed at night pondering how things would be different if only I had not come so soon. Shame clouded my reality, fear became commonplace in my thoughts now. Questioning every aspect of myself, I now doubted my own manhood. Will I always come too soon? Should I just stop dating women now and avoid all potential failure? Am I even worthy of meeting a gorgeous, hot, sexy, intelligent, powerful and sweet woman? And if I did, would I even last to be able to make love to her, to ravish and devour her?

As difficult and challenging as that moment proved to be, my turning point was presented to me. I was standing at the middle of a fork in my life: continue living the addicted and excessively consuming pornographic lifestyle or explore an entirely different path.

Writing you today, I am so happy I decided to choose a different path! After that incident, I committed to 1.5 years of celibacy at 20 years old. I dove deep into yoga and its philosophy. I began self reflecting, engaging in inner work and therapy, and could feel the inner transformation.

6 months into this celibacy period, I was introduced to the Taoist Sexual Cultivation Practices. Everything that was presented to me felt perfectly aligned, my body completely resonated with the information and wisdom I was learning. 

I incorporated the breathwork, different techniques, and adopted a self-pleasuring practice. My life began to turn around entirely. I was no longer ejaculating when I would self-pleasure myself (I do not use the word masturbate because of its etymological origins...more on that later ;) ). I got a 4.0 for the remaining 2 years of my undergraduate studies. My intramural basketball team won the local tournament. Abundance began to pour in from everywhere.

This is when Life really tested my inner confidence and resilience. After nearly 2 years of abstaining from romantic intimate relations with any woman, I began dating this lady. I waited to engage sexually for 4 months because I wanted to create a solid foundation in the relationship. I had communicated to her about my semen retention and conscious sexuality lifestyle. She was very supportive initially because she was aware of these specific practices and way of being.

When we finally engaged for the first time sexually, I used all the communication tools and techniques I had learned. I created the space and set the boundaries for my own sovereignty to feel at ease.

For the first time, I made love without the fear of ejaculating. I was high: just finished making love, not coming, retaining my seed, experiencing what I had been investing in for over a year. However, I was plagued now by the criticism of this woman. She told me that I should be a master at this practice already, that I shouldn't need to take a break or slow down and breath while making love.

Instantly, my confidence had slipped away. I questioned my own existence. I doubted who I was to my core. It was from this exact moment that I placed my worthiness on external validation. 

Performance anxiety, timing how long I would last in bed, criticizing my own self while making love, placing so much external pressure on myself to not release EVER, the list goes on of how critically judgemental I had become of myself.

Sex was no longer about the connection, experience or the bond between two humans. It was all about making sure I couldn't be judged for not being manly enough or criticized for my performance. It was filled with constant thinking, judging, worry, fear, anxiety and so much negativity that it wasn't a pleasure experience.

These patterns of relating continued for many years after that one relationship until this one peaceful moment in January of 2016. I had just returned from a powerful retreat on Kauai and realized so much about who I am and how to share my uniqueness with the world.

I had released the old relationship with that previous lady that had haunted and tormented me for years. I decided that my own sovereignty was my responsibility. Once I realized that my internal world and dialogue literally reflects my entire reality, I decided that I desire to live a life of POWER, PASSION, PURPOSE & PLAY!

I was ready to move forward to truly embrace and celebrate life. To open and receive the miracle of existence that is right here, RIGHT NOW.

From that moment forward, I released the shame, doubt, trauma, and fear around sex and my seed. I began to experience full body orgasms again. I was able to make love for however long I desired because of the inner confidence I cultivated.

Once I reclaimed my sexual sovereignty, I reclaimed my whole life. My path and purpose became even more clear than they had already been. Magical miracles were happening every day. I was waking up every morning filled with the fervent passion of life pulsating through my veins. Monetary abundance was flowing in from many different directions. Leadership opportunities were so prolific I had to say NO to almost every one, from local to international offers.

Today I live life on purpose, clearly aligned with my inner sovereignty, celebrating the pleasures of embodiment of simply being a human experiencing life here on Earth. Living the Legacy I choose to be belong to, I pray to be an inspiration to others that your life is simply awaiting you to step into your experience and reclaim your sovereignty!